A Therapy Session With Mary Lambert

Ever since Macklemore and Ryan Lewis's socially-conscious single "Same Love" hit the air-waves, I became slightly obsessed with the crooning melody of the chorus. Sure, the song itself was great and had a powerful message of acceptance and love for all people regardless of race and orientation, but the voice belonging to the one and only Mary Lambert was what hooked me onto the song. Generally, I dislike the abrasive riffs of rap, but I could listen to that one song over and over again because of her.

Two years later, Mary Lambert had been nominated for two awards, released two extended plays, is now anticipating the release of  her first studio album, "Heart On My Sleeve" (October 14th), and is headlining a tour. For someone to go from providing a minimal yet emotionally-driven refrain in a song to all of these achievements is astounding. I cannot imagine the kind of roller coaster Mary has been going through, but she has certainly been kept busy, and is clearly loving every bit of it (her Facebook and Twitter posts have expressed that much).

She looks so genuinely happy about everything! It's contagious!

Mary Lambert's music and songwriting style has been compared to artists such as Tori Amos and Adele, however her artistic expression could very well become its own pop category. She has brought spoken-word poetry into the spotlight in her extended plays ("Letters Don't Talk", "Welcome To The Age Of My Body"), an art form that is reminiscent of rap yet significantly more demonstrative of the emotion behind each word or phrase, rather than spewing them out at record speeds (congrats on that world record, Eminem!). Whether Mary will continue that trend in her new album or succumb to mainstream pop tunes is something we'll have to wait and see when it is released. 

Personally, I'm hoping to hear more of her impassioned poems of self-worth and empowerment. Music has been known to be used as an outlet for therapeutic methods, and Mary Lambert's honest and unabashed lyrical stories reveal that music is her go-to method when she needs to release her inner-demons. She has already expressed so much when it comes to her early-childhood trauma and hardships growing up, and she's still going! That consistent smile on her face just goes to show how powerful music has over an individual; while she's healing herself with musical expression, she's helping fans and first-time listeners with confronting their own imperfections. One of her new singles, "Secrets", is a catchy example of Mary acknowledging quite a few of her personality traits, and throwing them out there without regard of the stigmas associated with them.

Let it out. Ugly crying is allowed.

The timing of Mary Lambert's music could not have been better. With stories of bullying, and the fluctuating paradigm of sexuality and gender rising up to the headlines, there is a need for the people affected in the above issues to find relief and acceptance. Like Lady Gaga did with her "little monsters", Mary is influencing a new generation of millennials to become more emboldened with their self-perception and to recognize the flaws of main-stream America. From the majority of the songs released so far, Mary's tunes exhibit her bipolar disorder, ranging from peppy upbeats to somber acoustic accompaniments; not to mention, she has also publicly revealed her mental disorder numerous times. Her public confessions have reached out to those who are ashamed of whatever mental or physical ailments they have. She also proven through the power of music to persons who are ignorant of such matters that there is no shame in expressing oneself: "Hey, there's an overweight, bipolar lesbian singing about her problems, and she is successful and happy despite it all!" That alone should tell everyone that despite the social norms instilled in our culture, everyone is capable of rising above their dark secrets and find solace in one another through public expression.

Overall, I'm very excited for "Heart On My Sleeve" to come out because, quite honestly, I have listened to the few singles that have been released from the album hundreds of times already and cannot get enough of it all. Mary Lambert's poetic (and at times blunt) lyrics linked with emotive musical accompaniment brings about a much-needed turn in the pop music scene, one that is more than just background noise and messages of getting your sexy on. Through her music, Mary Lambert is more than just the next rising pop star; she doubles as your inner-voice that tells you it's ok to be sad, and as your best friend who shares the same insecurities as you do.

A Hefty Subject

So, this popped up on my newsfeed:

Meghan Trainor - "All About That Bass"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PCkvCPvDXk ...I will get to this video in a minute, but in case you haven't heard it by now, watch it!

Also, DAMN he's got some moves!

You know how the day winds up having a general theme, where everything seems to connect in some way? Kind of like how your iTunes seems to magically shuffle to a song you have had on repeat in your brain, or when Buzzfeed makes sure you see everything you miss from the 90's when you're feeling nostalgic. Something like that happened to me today, and it's funny because it's usually a topic I don't concern myself with because I used to have no direct link to it.

Earlier today, my youngest sister was clearing off her bookshelf, full of children's books and completed Mad Libs. She came across a journal with an entry in it from when she was fourteen-years old, and summarized most of it to me: she hated herself for being fat. As an automatic response, and also as a term of endearment (which I need to stop doing), I told her she was a dummy. I became irrationally defensive of my sister against her former mind, wanting to beat up the punk who told her she was overweight and unattractive. Obviously, I couldn't beat her up over the fact that she had low self-esteem; every kid goes through their moments of feeling worthless, and they learn to deal with it in their own ways (with healthy alternatives, hopefully). My sister and I shared an awkward moment while passing over the subject, saying a few words about her entry and me telling her that she was never fat, and still isn't.

When I was growing up, I didn't fit in with the girls in my class. I had a multitude of reasons why I was outcasted by my peers, but that's a whole different story. However, weight was never an issue. I remember one time where one of the few friends I had told me that she heard from the gossip train that a classmate of ours called me a whale. I laughed because it was so ridiculous how someone thought she was being malicious by calling me a whale.

Now, with the boom of social media, there are more ways for kids to get bullied, and it's heartbreaking to see. Kids can express their dislike or even hatred towards another person without facing the repercussions of their actions, or even physically facing their victim of choice. The language is there, clear as daylight, so the victim can read it among his/her peers, and with a statement so persistent and visible, it can only be assumed to be true. It's unfortunate that children are subjected to seeing these attacks on them in a consistent manner, especially if more than one kid joins the sick trend of abusing a child who is different than everyone else.

HOWEVER, social media has helped a whole lot. This generation now has artists who sing these kids' troubles away, telling them they don't have to worry about their image, just so long as they are comfortable in their own skin. This song, "All About That Bass" by Megan Trainor, magically appeared on my newsfeed right after the conversation I had with my sister. Apparently, it's all the rage on the internet.

Also, she isn't downplaying skinny girls, she's sympathizing with them, too! Read the lyrics, people.

Immediately after that song, Colbie Caillat's "Try" surfaced, and I found myself listening to yet another self-empowering song.

Two-facing Hollywood and social norms on beauty!

Kids growing up in this world will face a lot more harsh criticism, yes, but at the same time they are surrounded with so many people who believe that everyone deserves a chance to feel beautiful, wonderful, and worth something. It's reassuring to see that there are people attempting to reach out to one another, to spread messages of acceptance and love when hate-speech, intolerance of others, and (simply put) people who can't mind their own goddamn business about looks and weight abrasively make themselves loud and clear.

So be kind to one another, because at one point in your life, you may have been subjected to gossip and ridicule over your appearance by someone else. Would you wish that on anyone you don't know just because you can? No. Use that energy to do something good, and be kind.

Catcalls Are Far From Flattering

Yesterday, the New York Post published an article on their website, written by Doree Lewak, praising the effects that catcalls have over women (or in this instance, just Ms. Lewak). This article came to my attention after a few friends posted the article on their pages, pissed off that a woman would encourage other women to suck it up and deal with receiving sexist remarks from strangers.

The topic of catcalling could be deciphered more or less to the eye of the beholder; women have had either similar or different experiences of the matter, taken in either a positive or negative context. There have been studies done that suggest flirtation is good for one's self-esteem, and it increases confidence in one attempting to find a partner (fling, one-night stand). However, it could be perceived that flirtation and catcalling are completely different from one another. Catcalling is short-natured and fleeting, but there will be those who will make that small moment in time matter to them, and it will come off as abrasive and disrespectful in the long-run. Not only that, but from the catcaller's position, the action can be perceived as a method of boosting one's ego, an attempt to feel empowered by objectifying someone else, and laying claim to that person with a territorial howl. In lieu of the laws of nature, a man catcalling a woman reveals what he finds to be sexually appealing, and for a brief moment his fantasies are in stark daylight.

Some might say that this article is a sign of Ms. Lewak's sense of empowerment, and that women should be proud of strutting their stuff for others to visually dissect. Why shouldn't she? She was picked out of a handful of other women to receive the verbal blessings of complete strangers and unaware of their intent. Did she bother to cater back to those construction workers she mentioned, putting on a brief show-tease before turning the corner? I doubt it. The real question is does she really need the approval of outside opinions to feel good about herself and her image?

No one should. No one should have to resort to that degree of self-worth.

Personal empowerment is about strengthening self-confidence. While outside encouragement is always a good thing, no one can feel completely whole running on other people's expectations. It's nice once in a while to receive a compliment here and there, but it should be moderated in rarity, like a treat or special purchase. From this article, women are being told to indulge in it. Might as well just say, "Forget about respecting yourself, go out there and entertain those hard-working men because that's why God gave you those gorgeous looks in the first place!" Ladies, you do not need a man's attention to feel important, attractive, or worthy of life, and you certainly do not need the advice of some bimbo who takes pride in optically prostituting herself on the streets of New York City.

"I'm not here for  your entertainment!"

I've never considered myself an extremist feminist, and probably never will be, but this got my Rosie the Riveter flexing with anger and raising the middle finger. My experience with catcalling is in the same context of being bullied as a child; obscenities being shouted my way, intrusive glances, crude gestures, and the overall demeaning sensation that lingered behind. Ironically, I was bullied in school for my looks and style; I was one of those extremely late bloomers, cursed with awkward body growth, and wore clothing that made me feel comfortable rather than restricted in skin-tight garments. I didn't adhere to the male protocol of what was attractive, and despite my best efforts to feel that none of these bullies' words mattered, it hurt. The persistent insults made me feel worthless, yet I never conformed to resemble my female classmates. Years later, men began noticing me and approached me with words that made me feel threatened and objectified; I was an insignificant being needing conquering, and they were going to do it, come hell or high water. Other women in that position would have probably loved the attention of the game, but for me it held a different meaning, and for good reason. I wasn't going to let years of self-empowerment fall to shambles over whistle-blowing, horn-honking, wolf-howling, sexist men in any manner whatsoever, and to this day I have not faltered. Until now.

Ms. Lewak's publication is just as threatening to me as the type of men who take personal gratification in humiliating women on the street. She expresses that in order to feel self-worth, you have to put your body out there in a male-dominated world, and to accept the fact that you're obligated to put on a nice show for those lonely (and most likely unfaithful) men. Women have come so far in history to be given their rights, to be seen as capable and powerful individuals, and influential leaders; they don't need centuries of respect destroyed by these particular opinions of objectified appraisal. While this article is infuriating, let us hope that it doesn't encourage any more half-witted and sexist opinions on trivial matters. Let us hope that there is a majority in this generation that has found a strong voice to promote self-empowerment and respect.

You can find the article here: http://nypost.com/2014/08/18/enough-sanctimony-ladies-catcalls-are-flattering/